A Diluted Spectrum

This semester has been really challenging in a lot of ways. One such way has been that my perception of a spiritual life is being changed.

The curse of having an analytical/academic mind is that one processes everything on an intellectual level. Everything. This mixed blessing can allow for levels of observation, insight, and understanding that are mostly objective and informational. Looking at a situation and being able to analyze what is happening is nice. (Of course, it can also lead to hideous levels of overanalysis. Ah well.)

And so, the study of God and His Word has been interesting to me. It has provided a field of analysis that captures my attention and holds it; the matters of text, history, theology, and all the little hair-splitting details that such a world implies have provided a boundless playground for my mind.

I have interacted with faith on an intellectual level; can it work? Should it work? Does it work? What if it doesn't? Does it make sense? Can it make sense? Why should one believe? And so on. And by addressing these questions, I have been able to come to a place where I have a rational case for believing as I do. My faith is based on a rational level; I believe the way that I do because I believe my faith to accurately reflect the world as it truly is.

John Wesley would call such faith "the faith of a devil." Why? Because even a devil can understand the way the world works, and believes it to be so; however, this belief does not provide salvation. I also fear that many have fallen into such a belief; we believe our salvation to be such, and because we believe, we feel no obligation to do anything further.

But what if being a Christian meant much more? I read the church fathers and the believers of the past; their words ignite a fire in me that cuts beyond my mind to my heart. They use scary words; words like "sin" and "damnation." They also use wonderful words, such as "victory" and "sanctification." The Christianity of today does not possess the same vital signs. Authority has been taken from the Bible and placed in the hands of subjective contextual interpretation. Accountability has been taken from community and replaced with ambiguity. Truth has been run out of town, and whims have taken its place.

Answers are no longer sought with the same passion that questions are, and faith has withered as a result. Many have deconstructed it with the hope of arriving at the bright flame of truth that shone brightly at the core of what they believed; but after demolishing their personal framework of faith, they found that one cannot take away the candle and suspend the flame. Others became comfortable with a faith that promised all and required nothing. Still others have forsaken faith, because they have asked the wrong questions. It has been diluted into an easier faith. A politically correct faith. A faith that possesses the form... but lacks the power.

Father, forgive your church.

But what if.

What if Christian belief was something that was horrible? Where "sin" was not a bad bedtime story, but a real and powerful force that one has to struggle with daily? Where your faith offended others? Offended yourself? And what if you had to make sacrifices? Sacrifices beyond money and time. Sacrifices involving the places you go, the people you meet. Sacrifices that drastically impacted your daily life. And what about suffering? What if you had to suffer more than ridicule, but the loss of your safety, your wellbeing, and perhaps even your life. Where the faith you held was an affront to your society and yourself.

And what if...

What if Christian belief was something glorious? Something that radically changed you as a person. That changed the way you saw the world. Something that brought you peace, hope, happiness, and joy. Faith that marked you as an unmistakable member of God's Kingdom. Faith that can heal the sick; faith that can heal the soul. A faith that gave you the power to live a changed life; a life that could conquer sin. A life that was worth living.

I'm not claiming to have the above picture correct. But I am saying that our faith has become weak. The faith I read about and hear today inspires me to neither draw a sword nor fall upon one; and this many of our brothers and sisters overseas are forced to do.

However... I would for the faith of old. For the faith of Augustine. John Wesley. Oswald Chambers. These men had a faith that stirs my heart. I read their words and hear the voices of heaven.

I want a faith like theirs.
What if the Christian faith were something