9.04.2006

The "Christian" Plague.

So I was sitting with my mother at a restaurant yesterday. We were discussing TLC and various events, and I mentioned that Spence was going to be playing at a coffeeshop later this week. And Mom asked me the following question: "Is it a Christian coffeeshop?"

Normally, I wouldn't bat an eye at such a question. Not even give it a second thought. But for some reason, this stuck in my head.

A "Christian coffeeshop?"

What the deuce is that supposed to mean?

Is it for Christians only? Is it owned/operated by Christians? Will John 3:16 be stamped on my coffee mug? Will someone hand me a tract with my scone? Is it a place where the name of Jesus is lifted high? Does a church meet there? Will Benny Hinn be expertly crafting my iced caramel macchiato with extra whipped cream? Who says it's Christian anyway? Does someone just arbitrarily make these decisions?

And on the flipside, just to be fair, are there "Heathen coffeeshops?" Do the pagans have a place they can feel comfortable? Gotta be fair, ya know...

It seemed to be a silly distinction to make. True, there are Christian establishments. I'm thinking specifically of bookstores, though other places do exist. Car dealerships. Financial institutions. Consulting firms. You get the idea.

But it's just the concept that kinda bugs me. If there are Christian establishments that deserve to be patronized simply because of their religious affiliation, what logically follows?

There are non-Christian establishments that should be avoided because of a differing religious affiliation.

"Whoa, Seth, hang on. You can't mean that!"

Think about it. I used to take my car to a place called Christian Brothers Automotive. They play KXOJ in the lobby, have Christian magazines on the coffee tables, an IXOYE fish on the wall, etc. Somehow, I feel good about taking my car there because I'm putting money "back into the Kingdom."

Except for a single problem. I was putting a lot of money into the Kingdom, if you catch my drift. The repairs didn't last; the mechanics missed obvious problems. So I started taking my car to a heathen garage. And whaddaya know. Things stayed fixed. I wasn't charged rediculous sums of money for them to just take 15 minutes, look things over, and tell me what was wrong. May I highly recommend Cartec Automotive at Harvard and the BA. Those pagans do good work. They only work on domestics though; and since I now drive a VW, I had to part company with Jerry and his crew.

Jerry did recommend another sinner to me, though; and since Jerry had always been fair, and never steered me wrong, I followed his advice. My car now goes to Mike's Auto Haus. There's no Mike there; it's all done by a guy named Ralph. And if Jerry was a sinner, Ralph is a reprobate. Cusses like a sailor, has a girlie poster hanging in his garage, cracks all manner of crude jokes, and listens to classic rock all day long. It doesn't faze him in the least that I'm an ORU grad that majored in New Testament. "Sh*t, that's great, man!"

And you know something? Ralph does good work. He doesn't cost an arm and a leg. He calls it like he sees it and he tells me how it is. I feel that I can trust this guy. I'm more comfortable giving him my money than re-re-reinvesting it "into the Kingdom."

I like Ralph. He's a good man.

So why do we differentiate between "Christian" and "secular" establishments? What makes a coffeeshop "Christian," anyhow? Are they roasting Jesus beans? Does the espresso pray in tongues?

Who cares?

And if we start separating our bookstores and coffeeshops from those dirty pagans, what's next? Supermarkets? Restaurants? Gas stations? Banks? Residential areas? I get emails from Christian associations all the time urging me to boycott certain things due to certain coroporate decisions to support a certain cause. If I followed the counsel of these fellow believers, I would be boycotting Disney, Paramount, New Line Cinema, ExxonMobil, Starbucks, Wal-Mart, GM, Ford... Sheesh, I'd be boycotting the world! Which wouldn't be bad, since I can get everything I need from Christian sub-cultures anyway.

But I was commanded to go into the world. And not just that, but to preach the Gospel. And preaching takes time.

Honestly, Christians don't need the world; we can get along without "secular" things. And we take great pains to pat ourselves on the back for doing so.

But the world needs Christians. We've got something to contribute to the world. I can't deny the world a cure to a disease based solely on the assumption that they're not good enough for it. But all too many times, that's what our actions say.

So the next time you're craving a cup of joe, go buy it from your friendly neighborhood heathen. He'll appreciate your business.

Who knows... he may even appreciate you bringing Jesus into his world.

3 comments:

Spencer said...

Good word. I want start using the phrase "Jesus Beans" alot.
And by the way, I charge $1 everytime my name is mentioned on blogger.

Preston Sharpe said...

Perhaps giving your money to Ralph is doing more for said kingdom than it was at the "Christian" place

Anonymous said...

hey, if benny hinn didn't pour your latte, don't drink it....lol

i really like the way rob bell put it in velvet elvis, when he said that the word "christian" is a noun and not an adjective to be applied to "things". i wholeheartedly agree with this statement. a coffee shop doesn't believe or disbelieve anything, it's a coffee shop not a person. if we don't love (and interact with) people regardless of their religious profile, we won't accomplish anything for the kingdom.