I Think Somehow I Missed It.

I had a rather singular experience today. A girl, about my own age, stopped by selling magazine subscriptions. Her goal? She was trying to earn enough points to get a trip to Rome. She asked if she could sit, so I invited her in. I got her a glass of water.

I sat down and flipped through what she was offering while we talked about movies... Apparently she's a big fan of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Anyway, I didn't see anything I wanted. She did a great job of trying to identify my interests, but honestly... I'm not a big magazine guy. We got into the age-old Sean Connery vs. Johnny Depp debate for a minute, and then I told her that I didn't see anything I was interested in. I stood up and took my own now-empty glass into the kitchen.

I came back in the living room and wished her the best; that I hoped all would go well and that her trip would be great. I also apologized for not helping her out. She said that was okay; that I had that look about me.

"The look of a loser?" I joked.

"No..." She paused and silently considered me for a moment. "...The look of someone who wouldn't give me anything."

And after a few more pleasantries, she went on.

Ouch. Here I am, ORU t-shirt and all. I had told her I was in Biblical Studies. I may as well have "Christian" written on my forehead. A trip to Rome would have been fun... I've been overseas, and it's a blast. I could have helped her. I could have taken some time and found out her story. By Christian standards, she wasn't someone you'd spend time with; cigarette smoke pungently evident on her person, the Playboy bunny featured prominently on her purse. But I could have done something. Even if I didn't want a magazine, I could have given her a check for the trip. I could have prayed for her. Something.

As she walked out the door, I couldn't help but feel that somehow I blew it. I've always been a soft touch for salespeople. Sob stories in parking lots will empty my wallet. This past year, I've developed a thicker skin. Or maybe I just don't care as much.

But what's the big deal? She was selling magazines... I didn't want any... Case closed. I shouldn't feel bad.

In a few weeks, I plan to send out sponsorship letters for my upcoming studies at Asbury. Very different, some would say. Others would say not so different. I couldn't help but being struck by the similarities.

What could I have done?