Ehhhh... So Now What?

Well, graduation was this past week. Not for me, but for several friends of mine. Hard to believe I've been out in the world for a year.

Dang, I feel old.

Anyway, it's struck me how my friends are dealing with questions of faith. Because questions they do have. After four years of ORU, four years of being in the bubble, four years of Christian environment, these people suddenly find themselves graduated from the bubble. They also find themselves very able to function within a bubble, but they also find that the bubble, for the most part, has failed to answer their questions; or even worse, they find that the bubble has failed to be relevant to where they are in life.

Ouch.

So I've got friends that are struggling. Some are pursuing more orthodox expressions of faith. Some are pursuing less orthodox ways of belief. Some have no idea what they are pursuing, but hoping they'll recognize it when they find it; and still others have given up the pursuit of anything at all.

Part of this makes sense. I've taken the year off this past year, and it's been hell. More than enough to cause me to question God. In every way. Whether or not He loves me, He cares, or if He even exists. I had to fight through this stuff.

So now, several months and many arguments with the ceiling later, here I sit. Still a believer. And I can say that God does care. He does love. And He certainly does exist. He is faithful. And though I have walked through trials and pain that I do not wish to see again, I can see God's hand holding mine through it all.

But somehow, though I remain convinced of God and the rightness of my belief, I also sympathize with my friends who are struggling. You have to grapple; you have to fight. You have to make it your own.

I also wish that they didn't have to do that. It hurts. My friends, people I'd dive in front of traffic for, thinking of leaving the church. For what? I don't know... But they do, I guess. Is that really necessary, I ask myself (because I don't have the guts to ask them)? Is it because something else is shiny and grabs their attention? Or is the problem not with the belief system, but perhaps in the believer? Perhaps it is time to be stretched, to grow?

What changed? Why doesn't it work anymore? If God's been distant, who's been running away? And will changing churches, or even faiths, fix anything? Will renouncing faith fix anything?

It may sound like I'm encouraging blind belief. Please understand, I'm not. I'm encouraing questions. I'm encouraging fighting for truth, wherever that may be found. But I'm also wondering why somehow running from God, or evangelical Christianity, or whatever, will fix wherever one is at and provide answers to their questions.

I'm scared for my friends. Who knows where they will wind up? I don't. I just have to put them in God's hands, and trust Him to hold them, as He has done me.