On Theology Students and Spiritual Formation

So this post is going to be kinda rambling. Bear with me.

It's been interesting being a theology student. The past six, going on seven, years of my life have been devoted to the study of God's word. To the ministry of His Kingdom, in whatever context I find myself in. To the translation of passages, the reading of books, and the quest for knowledge and understanding. And by the standards applied to such things, I've done pretty well. I've received praise from my teachers, mentors, and employers. I've gotten enviable grades and graduated among the top of my class. I've participated in honors programs and taken advanced classes. By the marks I've been given, I've done pretty good.

And I'm not alone in that; many people have. Many ministers of the Gospel have excelled at their studies and demonstrated an intimate understanding of their lessons; demonstrated a working understanding of ministry.

However, there is a deadly trap in this life; one that I feel clawing at me every day. It is the inclination to swap out books for the Bible. The inclination to substitute conversations with my peers for conversations with my Creator. The inclination to trade divine silence for "spiritual" static. The inclination to pass up dedicated time in favor of spontaneous moments. In short, the inclination to neglect one's spiritual life in favor of an academic life.

It's an easy thing to do. You sit in class all day long, learning about theology, the Bible, and ministry. Before, after, in-between, and during class, you discuss the things of God. Your reading, both business and probably pleasure, are infused with brands of spirituality. The majority of your relationships share one thing: the study of God's Word and purposes.

None of these things are bad. Indeed, the life I've just described may sound like Heaven to many people. The opportunity to live a life saturated with the things of God and thoroughly embedded in Christian community is a wonderful thing.

It can also be deadly.

Deadly because the life awash in these things often forgets to wash itself in the Blood. The mind thinks, "My life is already covered in the things of God; why must I pursue it further?" And so personal, intentional pursuit of the mysteries of God within relationship fall by the wayside in favor of substitutes that are to be a key part of the Christian life - but substitutes that should not and cannot serve for personal spiritual development, though they may assist in that area.

There is no substitute. There is nothing that can compare with deliberately engaging God's presence day after day to find the treasures that are hidden there. With seeking out His face intentionally.

Dr. Buskirk at First United Methodist Church, the church of my childhood, once read a statistic that shocked me then and saddens me now: most ministers spend less than ten minutes a day in prayer. I couldn't understand it then, and was flabbergasted; now I can, and I am saddened. It makes perfect sense.

Because against my intentions, I'm a part of that statistic.

Dr. B also once told a story; a woman once had a dream that she and everyone in her church were going to get measured. It was a yearly thing, much as your parents may do through your younger years. There was an angel with a measuring stick, and the congregation one by one stepped up and was measured according to the vitality of their spiritual life. And an interesting thing happened when one stepped up to be measured; the person grew or shrank according to his or her spiritual stature. The woman felt sure that she would measure up well; she had degrees and was active in many ministries in the church. Volunteered and coordinated and served and listened to only Christian music and lived a flawless life; but when her turn came, she shrank until she was the smallest of all.

I'm scared of angels with measuring sticks.

So this is an SOS from my soul as much as a plea to my peers... Please, please, please. Let us be deliberate. Let us take time. Let us not neglect the health of the heart for matters of the mind. Let us seek relationship with our Creator first and let our studies and relationships be colored by that lens alone.

Father, please forgive me for forgetting...

And Worlds Collided...

It's weird, living on two different fronts... I've got family and friends in Tulsa. Wilmore isn't far behind. Kinda lacking in the family category, but friends are there.

Traveling from one place to another is weird. You jump in a car and zone out for 12 hours... Or you hop on a plane and wake up in a different time zone. Either way. I check out mentally during the trip. And when I check back in... It's like waking up from a dream. Almost like the other world didn't exist in some odd way, and the place I woke up was the only world that mattered.

Until this past week... When my mother, sister, and youngest brother came out to Wilville on a whirlwind tour to see the lay of the land and where I was doing grad school. People from one world visited the other...

And the worlds collided. It was weird. Seeing pictures stuck in a different frame. Not a frame that didn't fit, or a frame that looked ugly. Just a different one... And a good one.

My family loves where I am. They support me wholeheartedly. I'm grateful. And the trip that the four of us had was like nothing I'd experienced.

And I wondered if... If.

If that was kinda how the Incarnation worked. Worlds collided. And it was different... But it was beautiful. Odd, but meaningful. Inexplicable, but significant. And somehow... it was the most rockingest thing ever.