The Summer of 2010 was nothing like I thought it would be.
Home is no longer that which I thought. Some friends faded. Others moved away. Some doors shut. Others disappeared. Opportunities were not realized. In several ways, I became disappointed with myself and my environment. I was looking for answers to questions. Answers did not come, and I blamed myself. In terms of what I wanted Summer 2010 to be, it was an epic letdown.
And yet... And yet. Friends and opportunities popped out of the woodwork. Relationships grew. I found myself in a fantastic ministry environment, surrounded by wonderful people. The fact that answers did not come forced me to rethink questions, which has been positive. I grew spiritually and learned much. I made new friends. In these ways, Summer 2010 was a success beyond that which I imagined. There is still much to do and much to realize, but I am grateful for where I am and where I have been... And where I am going.
Bullet points. Because I like them.
- I will no longer be working at Starbucks. The Siren and I are breaking up. It's mutual, and we think we can be friends without it being too awkward. My new workplace romance is with the Information Commons at Asbury Theological Seminary where I will eventually be working in the cataloging department as a Student Assistant. We're still playing around the edges and getting to know each other, but I do feel that this relationship has the potential to be mutually beneficial. Providence was certainly involved in how we got together, too. I think God is smiling on this one.
- My ministry internship with Saturday Night Community Church was a tremendous blessing to me; I hope it was for them as well. Filling my MM602 requirement served as a wonderful excuse to get back into town and hang out with my friends for the summer and once again rejoin with my home church. Great things are happening there. Getting back and being involved in the future is a thought that plays in my mind. Wherever I go and whatever I do, SNCC will always hold a very, very special place in my heart.
- In some ways, you can't come back home. I've been away for three years. Moving back in with Mom and Dad, even for the summer, was just... Weird. I love them. They love me. It's just odd to be on your own and then return to the family situation in such a way for such a length of time. No, there comes a time when you are supposed to be on your own. It's what you have been preparing for. I am blessed to have parents that will support me in many ways to do whatever I do. If that means moving back in for a time, they're glad and willing to help in that way. However, I have moved beyond the point where I am comfortable living at my folk's house. Not because they don't love me and don't take care of me and don't want me to be there; no, they do love me and do take care of me and do love it when I'm around. I'm just aware that I'm 26; the time has past for me to live with them. Bird's a big kid now. Gotta leave the nest. I love you, Mom and Dad. You're wonderful; thanks for the love, the opportunities, the encouragement, and everything else that you have been for me and done for me.
- Speaking of home, I found that when one travels, one's conception of home changes. Home isn't just Tulsa anymore. In some ways, home is where I am accepted and loved; not so much a geographical location. There's a lot of home in 'Tucky, as much as I hate to say it. As friends have moved on, I've got pieces of home all over; in Iowa, Colorado, Canada, Chicago, etc. It's like someone grabbed a handful of dust from my parents' backyard and cast it into the wind; wherever it landed, that place feels a little bit like home. The downside of that analogy is that my parent's backyard is missing some dirt; Tulsa just isn't home like it used to be. People have changed and things have happened; for better or worse, it just isn't what it used to be. And that's okay.
- I'm excited about classes this fall. I'm taking a class on the Aesthetics of Theology which should be fun; History and the Sacraments, which is of great interest to me; and an independent study on morality and Modernity. Should be great. I think this is the first semester during my time here that I have not had a Biblical studies course. Yowza.
- During my internship, I had the opportunity to lead a discussion group on Spiritual Formation at SNCC. Every night that we met except one, I was the youngest person in the room. How does that work? How can I talk about spiritual journeys when my own still has so much left unwritten? I learned from these discussions greatly. Though my background is in Biblical studies, I have become enamored over the past year and a half with the idea of spiritual formation. True discipleship. We need it, no question. It's also not being taught. I hope the discussions blessed the group as much as they blessed me; we barely scratched the surface of it all. So very much left in the world...
- In my travels, I visited Colorado. Did the annual backpacking trip. Always a blessing. Also scooted out to Detroit to be an usher for my friend Kevin in his wedding. Glad that man got hitched. Also, I traveled with my good friend Josh during his move out to Iowa. Never been to Iowa before. Lots of corn. LOTS of corn. Lots OF corn. Lots of CORN. Geez o' Pete, was there a lot of corn. Holy frig. Moving on...
- This travel tidbit gets its own bullet point. My dad and I flew up to Deerfield and Milwaukee to look at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School (TEDS) and Marquette to investigate possibilities for Ph. D. work in Biblical studies. Both are excellent programs, though they are very different. I have many thoughts upon this matter, but the trip really told me what I need to be working on to move ahead in academic work. It also, once again, raised the question of whether or not this is what I want to be doing with my life. A little side issue that also needs to be addressed is that of money... So, yes. Prayers in this area would be appreciated. Please pray specifically for the following: A) That I would be able to maximize my use of time and study for the GRE as well as gain competency in a modern research language (German, most likely). B) That God would guide the application process at various schools. C) That I would do well in my current studies. D) That God would continue to meet my physical and financial needs. E) That God would reveal his will to me within his time and show me which opportunities to pursue so that I may be in the best place to bring glory back to Him.
I won't tell.
