10.23.2010

More Thoughts From Freddy

Continuing to read through Wishful Thinking, I found Buechner's entry on "Worship." I share it with you.

WORSHIP
Phrases like Worship Service or Service of Worship are tautologies. To worship God means to serve him. Basically there are two ways to do it. One way is to do things for him that he needs to have done - run errands for him, carry messages for him, fight on his side, feed his lambs, and so on. The other way is to do things for him that you need to do - sing songs for him, create beautiful things for him, give things up for him, tell him what's on your mind and in your heart, in general rejoice in him and make a fool of yourself for him the way lovers have always made fools of themselves for the one they love.
A Quaker Meeting, a Pontifical High Mass, the Family Service at First Presbyterian, a Holy Roller Happening - unless there is an element of joy and foolishness in the proceedings, the time would be better spent doing something useful.

10.15.2010

A Little Something From Freddy B.

One of my favorite author/philosophers made the following statement, and I felt it was worthy of sharing.

This is Frederick Buechner from his book Wishful Thinking: A Seeker's ABC (New York: HarperCollins, 1993). The entry for "Salvation" is found on pages 102-104. I reproduce it as follows, with all credit going to Freddy B.

SALVATION
It is an experience first and a doctrine second.
Doing the work you're best at doing and like to do best, hearing great music, having great fun, seeing something very beautiful, weeping at somebody else's tragedy - all these experiences are related to the experience of salvation because in all of them two things happen: (1) you lose yourself, and (2) you find that you are more fully yourself than usual.
A closer analogy is the experience of love. When you love somebody it is no longer yourself who is the center of your own universe. It is the one you love who is. You forget yourself. You deny yourself. You give of yourself, so that by all the rules of arithmetical logic there should be less of yourself than there was to start with. only by a curious paradox there is more. You feel that at least you really are yourself.
The experience of salvation involves the same paradox. Jesus put it like this: "He who loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 10:39).
You give up your old self-seeking self for somebody you love and thereby become yourself at last. You must die with Christ so that you can rise with him, Paul says. It is what baptism (q.v.) is all about.
You do not love God so that, tit for tat, he will then save you. To love God is to be saved. To love anybody is a significant step along the way.
You do not love God and live for him so you will go to Heaven. Whichever side of the grave you happen to be talking about, to love God and live for him is Heaven.
It is a gift, not an achievement.
You can make yourself moral. You can make yourself religious. But you can't make yourself love.
"We love," John says, "because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19).
Who knows how the awareness of God's love first hits people. We all have our own tales to tell, including those of us who wouldn't believe in God if you paid us. Some moment happens in your life that you say Yes to right up to the roots of your hair, that makes it worth having been born just to have happen. Laughing with somebody till the tears run down your cheeks. Waking up to the first snow. Being in bed with somebody you love.
Whether you thank God for such a moment or thank your lucky stars, it is a moment that is trying to open up your whole life. If you turn your back on such a moment and hurry along to Business as Usual, it may lose you the ball game. If you throw your arms around such a moment and bless it, it may save your soul.
How about the person you know who as far as you can possibly tell has never had such a moment - the soreheads and slobs of the world, the ones the world has hopelessly crippled? Maybe for that person the moment that has to happen is you.
It is a process, not an event.

9.03.2010

Post-Tulsa Status Report

I'm aware that my previous blog came a few weeks before I arrived in Tulsa for the summer. I suppose it's only fitting that my next update comes a week or so after I left.

The Summer of 2010 was nothing like I thought it would be.

Home is no longer that which I thought. Some friends faded. Others moved away. Some doors shut. Others disappeared. Opportunities were not realized. In several ways, I became disappointed with myself and my environment. I was looking for answers to questions. Answers did not come, and I blamed myself. In terms of what I wanted Summer 2010 to be, it was an epic letdown.

And yet... And yet. Friends and opportunities popped out of the woodwork. Relationships grew. I found myself in a fantastic ministry environment, surrounded by wonderful people. The fact that answers did not come forced me to rethink questions, which has been positive. I grew spiritually and learned much. I made new friends. In these ways, Summer 2010 was a success beyond that which I imagined. There is still much to do and much to realize, but I am grateful for where I am and where I have been... And where I am going.

Bullet points. Because I like them.
  • I will no longer be working at Starbucks. The Siren and I are breaking up. It's mutual, and we think we can be friends without it being too awkward. My new workplace romance is with the Information Commons at Asbury Theological Seminary where I will eventually be working in the cataloging department as a Student Assistant. We're still playing around the edges and getting to know each other, but I do feel that this relationship has the potential to be mutually beneficial. Providence was certainly involved in how we got together, too. I think God is smiling on this one.
  • My ministry internship with Saturday Night Community Church was a tremendous blessing to me; I hope it was for them as well. Filling my MM602 requirement served as a wonderful excuse to get back into town and hang out with my friends for the summer and once again rejoin with my home church. Great things are happening there. Getting back and being involved in the future is a thought that plays in my mind. Wherever I go and whatever I do, SNCC will always hold a very, very special place in my heart.
  • In some ways, you can't come back home. I've been away for three years. Moving back in with Mom and Dad, even for the summer, was just... Weird. I love them. They love me. It's just odd to be on your own and then return to the family situation in such a way for such a length of time. No, there comes a time when you are supposed to be on your own. It's what you have been preparing for. I am blessed to have parents that will support me in many ways to do whatever I do. If that means moving back in for a time, they're glad and willing to help in that way. However, I have moved beyond the point where I am comfortable living at my folk's house. Not because they don't love me and don't take care of me and don't want me to be there; no, they do love me and do take care of me and do love it when I'm around. I'm just aware that I'm 26; the time has past for me to live with them. Bird's a big kid now. Gotta leave the nest. I love you, Mom and Dad. You're wonderful; thanks for the love, the opportunities, the encouragement, and everything else that you have been for me and done for me.
  • Speaking of home, I found that when one travels, one's conception of home changes. Home isn't just Tulsa anymore. In some ways, home is where I am accepted and loved; not so much a geographical location. There's a lot of home in 'Tucky, as much as I hate to say it. As friends have moved on, I've got pieces of home all over; in Iowa, Colorado, Canada, Chicago, etc. It's like someone grabbed a handful of dust from my parents' backyard and cast it into the wind; wherever it landed, that place feels a little bit like home. The downside of that analogy is that my parent's backyard is missing some dirt; Tulsa just isn't home like it used to be. People have changed and things have happened; for better or worse, it just isn't what it used to be. And that's okay.
  • I'm excited about classes this fall. I'm taking a class on the Aesthetics of Theology which should be fun; History and the Sacraments, which is of great interest to me; and an independent study on morality and Modernity. Should be great. I think this is the first semester during my time here that I have not had a Biblical studies course. Yowza.
  • During my internship, I had the opportunity to lead a discussion group on Spiritual Formation at SNCC. Every night that we met except one, I was the youngest person in the room. How does that work? How can I talk about spiritual journeys when my own still has so much left unwritten? I learned from these discussions greatly. Though my background is in Biblical studies, I have become enamored over the past year and a half with the idea of spiritual formation. True discipleship. We need it, no question. It's also not being taught. I hope the discussions blessed the group as much as they blessed me; we barely scratched the surface of it all. So very much left in the world...
  • In my travels, I visited Colorado. Did the annual backpacking trip. Always a blessing. Also scooted out to Detroit to be an usher for my friend Kevin in his wedding. Glad that man got hitched. Also, I traveled with my good friend Josh during his move out to Iowa. Never been to Iowa before. Lots of corn. LOTS of corn. Lots OF corn. Lots of CORN. Geez o' Pete, was there a lot of corn. Holy frig. Moving on...
  • This travel tidbit gets its own bullet point. My dad and I flew up to Deerfield and Milwaukee to look at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School (TEDS) and Marquette to investigate possibilities for Ph. D. work in Biblical studies. Both are excellent programs, though they are very different. I have many thoughts upon this matter, but the trip really told me what I need to be working on to move ahead in academic work. It also, once again, raised the question of whether or not this is what I want to be doing with my life. A little side issue that also needs to be addressed is that of money... So, yes. Prayers in this area would be appreciated. Please pray specifically for the following: A) That I would be able to maximize my use of time and study for the GRE as well as gain competency in a modern research language (German, most likely). B) That God would guide the application process at various schools. C) That I would do well in my current studies. D) That God would continue to meet my physical and financial needs. E) That God would reveal his will to me within his time and show me which opportunities to pursue so that I may be in the best place to bring glory back to Him.
And such is my life, currently. I'm excited about what's ahead and looking forward to seeing what God makes happen next. I'm sure there are issues of note that I just forgot to put in here... But if you have any questions, just ask. In the meantime... Go eat a sandwich. You earned it for reading all this. You know what? Have a brownie with your sandwich. And a chocolate milkshake. It's okay.

I won't tell.

5.01.2010

I'M ALIVE, I SWEAR

Oooooooooookay. It's been a little while since I hit the blogosphere. I've been rocking the Twitterverse and spending far more time than is good for me on Facebook... But sadly, the blog had been pitifully neglected. It's kinda like that forlorn kid sitting on the curb in the summertime with nothing to do because all his friends are on vacation. And he just missed the ice cream truck. So... Update!

  • I have one paper, two tests, and two vocab quizzes left for school. I'm almost done with the Spring semester of 2010. Classes this semester are: Intro to World Religions, Exegesis of 1 Corinthians, and Exegesis of Joshua. Yeah... I took two exegesis classes in one semester. Call me crazy.
  • I'm still working at Starbucks. It's a good job. I'm transferring back for the summer to Tulsa, so we'll see how that works out. Speaking of Tulsa...
  • I'm going to be doing a ministry internship at Saturday Night Community Church with my good friend, Preston Sharpe. I'm really looking forward to working with all those great people again. Also, I haven't found a church in Wilmore that scratched the itch quite like SNCC does. Can you tell that I'm excited?
  • I've begun to shave with a straight razor. This has been nothing short of wicked awesome. For all you "men" who pride yourselves on your "manly" beards, I ask of you... Which is more masculine, being lazy and letting yourself go or shaving with something that you could also use to hijack a 727? Gillette, Schick, and all the rest... Stand down. Take your ridiculously overpriced cartridges and begone. Electric shavers, you once may have been the future, but you belong in the forgotten past as far as I'm concerned. I have found a better way. And this is it.
  • I went and watched Angels & Airwaves do a show in Cincinnati this past weekend. Great show. Enjoyed it very much. Thought more than once that Tom DeLonge sounds like Spencer Sharpe when performing live.
  • Umm... That's about it.
I will engage a couple of thoughts, though. I don't have any real arguments or points I'm trying to make here; these have just been floating around in my mind lately.
  1. What's up with negativity? Across the Twitterverse and Facespace, people are griping about something or other. I've also seen that several of my acquaintances have lives that are characterized by negativity, both on the interwebs and in the real. I know, I know... Life is tough. It's easy for me to point this out; my life is amazingly simple compared with those of other people. However, I've also seen people who have had the $h!t kicked out of them show more joy more often than I thought possible. What gives? Christ came that we may have life... And we are not like those who do not have hope! The joy of the Lord is our strength! There was a time in my life when I would have been content to wallow and mope; I probably would have sent a sneer in the general direction of those who said what I just did. Sometimes, I'm tempted to slip back to that place. It certainly would be easy... But instead of focusing on the thousands of ways that life is difficult, let us rejoice in the one whose yoke is easy; and when it feels heavy, let us be thankful for the community of faith that carries us when we can't crawl. Debbie Downer, don't you come knocking at my door.
  2. This semester, I had the singular experience of visiting a Hindu temple and watching their service. I remember sitting in the corner, trying to take everything in, humbly trying to find God in that place. I'd recommend that you visit a gathering of another faith... Make you think. Anyway, earlier in the semester, I was visiting a nondenominational storefront church... Until I found out they were Baptists. Then I wouldn't give them the time of day. (I just don't like Baptists... This part of me is far from sanctified.) And this thought just hit me over the past couple of days: Why can I enter a Hindu temple and place myself in a position of humility there and then go to a Baptist church and reject their community when I most certainly have more in common with the Baptists than the Hindus? Religious pride... It even goes across denominations. Something really got me; Earth Day fell on a Thursday this year. The big joke was that "Today is Earth Day; or, as conservative evangelicals call it, 'Thursday.'" (Maybe it wasn't conservative evangelicals... Might have been something else. Fill in the blank. The idea will stand.) So everyone had a good chuckle at that. But it was a slap in the face. That doesn't promote unity! I'm sure conservative evangelicals have a lot to say about the world (and they do say it, no mistake...), but geez. This came from many of my friends who pride themselves at transcending a lot of these divisions of faith and people who see themselves as forging ahead and bringing unity to God's church... This attitude just doesn't fit. Who says a conservative evangelical isn't green by default? Who says that I can't find God underneath a Baptist steeple? Do I get so hung up on my own position of faith and semantics that I find myself judging other people and criticizing them for the dumbest of things? I know I do... And I wish I didn't.
That's all I've got for now. Tulsa, I'll see you in 20 days.

1.06.2010

Grace vs. Karma

So, a friend asked the following question via Facebook: "Are grace and karma really different?"

This got me thinking... I'm a grace nut. Naturally, this question piqued my interest.

From what I understand of karma, the basic idea is that various events (past, present, and future) are determined by moral cause-and-effect through the actions of an individual; the consequences that come to that individual are either enforced by a deity or they simply play out because that is the nature of the world in which we live. Simply put, one gets what one deserves.

So that's karma; what is grace? From my study, I have become increasingly convinced that grace defies definition. Indeed, if you asked me to classify grace or explain how it functions, I would falter. A hallmark of grace is that it remains beyond our comprehension, for it is not a system. It is not cause and effect; it is not a transaction. It is not a game, and it certainly is not a cosmic scorecard of one's life.

Rather, grace is a manifestation of the nature of God as seen in the world. It is not something God does; it's who God is. God can't help it; he is grace-ful. Because God is at work in the world, grace is at work in the world. We can look for it. We can expect to see it.

It is important also to note that God's nature is one of forgiveness. It is plain to see that forgiveness and grace go hand in hand, though they are far from synonymous. I would suggest that forgiveness and reconciliation is a manifestation of grace for both the offending and offended parties in a situation. However, I do not equate grace with forgiveness, for grace encompasses so much more.

Grace also comes as an empowerment and a challenge to live as one ought. God, being at work in one's life, gives that person the tools, strength, and ability to live in accordance with his will. God also will direct that person as to what his will is and provide conviction and correction when one strays from that will.

Grace is constantly at work in the world, drawing all people nearer to God and to his love. The physical ways in which this wooing takes place is as numerous as all the people through time multiplied by the total of seconds that people have existed, even in the mind of God before the universe as we know it began.

But what about sowing and reaping? Is that a karmic principle? In the Gospels, "sowing and reaping" refer to agricultural practices. The verse that comes to mind is Galatians 6.7: "Be not deceived; God is not mocked; for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." (ASV) A reading of Galatians 6 shows that Paul is speaking of the pursuits of the individual; if one pursues the ways of the world, that person will find himself or herself mired in the ways of the world. If one pursues heaven, heaven will be made manifest in his or her life. Indeed, the context of this passage calls for the community of faith to break "karmic" powers in the lives of others by restoring those who have sinned (6.1), bearing each other's burdens (6.2), not being weary in well-doing (6.9) and doing good to all people (6.10). Far from condoning any karmic idea, Paul encourages the opposite. It must also be said that Paul encourages personal responsibility, which brings up the question of the natural law of cause and effect; I'll touch upon this later.

What about the Lord's Prayer? Is the idea of us forgiving others as the Father has forgiven us a karmic principle? I don't think so, and here's why. While I think there is a cause and effect scenario at play, we must be careful as to how we understand it. God's forgiveness for us being the cause, our forgiveness for others being the effect; many people will look at this and see it as a command to forgive others, because if they don't, God won't forgive them. It's the "Big Brother" God enforcing forgiveness among his kids. (Or else!) Rather, I would read it this way; God, being a grace-ful, forgiving God has forgiven us because it's who he is. When we enter into a vital, dynamic relationship with this God, we begin to pick up his nature. And so we become grace-ful, forgiving people; not out of obligation, but rather because it's who we are becoming. Cause and effect? Yes. Karma? No.

Which brings us to the cause and effect question. I would agree that the principle of cause and effect is a natural law in play in the universe in which we live. (As such, it remains subservient to eternal law, but that's another post for another day.) Karma is cause and effect being played out on a moral and spiritual level.

As Christians, we are called to rise above simple cause and effect, for that is what Christ did. Had Christ's life followed a karmic pattern, there would have been an ascension with no death and resurrection. Christ would have been an enlightened prophet, a master of the divine; but not the savior of the world. We would still be dead in our sins with no way out, were karma and grace the same. But rather, Christ, the perfect one, bore the imperfections of an imperfect humanity so that we, who have no chance and no hope of life on our own, can share in the divine life that Christ brings to the human condition. Look all you want, but there is nothing karmic about this situation. This is God's nature; to bring his creation out of what it deserves into that which it has no hope of attaining or receiving on it's own.

Karma? Ain't no way.

Grace? Forever and ever; amen!